A relatively more general article this time, people - perhaps my most general one so far. I've tried very hard to be purely objective, and believe me, I'd have been more successful if only I hadn't been sitting on a plane while writing this down. It is funny or perhaps, apt, that I write an article against flight And, yes, I haven't diluted anything while typing it out, so there it is.. I admit I started off quite personally, but I get general, trust me.. And let me admit, while it did turn out to reflect my opinion more than anything else, this one's not half as good as my deliberately biased ones, so brace yourselves..
Now, before you buckle your seatbelt, straighten your seats and open your window shades to embark upon a journey that I am not going to take you on, I'll ask you to pump up your adrenaline, for you are to be reminded of an experience that every middle class Indian would've gone through. I expect this to be effortless for me- well, at least the next paragraph alone..
Close friends stand on different IP address fronts, armed with the best internet connections they can lay their devices on, alert, highly sensitive to every ticking second, their concentration increasing multiple fold over each minute as time approaches 10:00am.. Bizarre thoughts come forth and dissolve, unattended to - "Is there a way to apply Einstein's relativity equations to gain some time with IRCTC? Doesn't time move slower away from the earth where its gravity is lower? Should I sit upstairs? A few higher floors, perhaps?" Available #160...9:58:34... Refresh.. 9:59:39, status quo... Refresh- 10:00:04 Oh shucks! Available 154, Book Now... Yeah now!! Oh, darn thing signed out! Signing in again.. Invalid captcha? No, that's a lie you double crossers! Signing in again- hope drained out.. CKWL or REGRET or whatever.. ultimately, window of opportunity has closed mercilessly.. Ah, the burden of inevitability.. Can words express it?
Hesitantly, a flight ticket is booked - once that is done, the pain dissolves, for it is the anticipation of an expense that causes more pain than the effect itself. Acceptance comes at once, bringing forth relief.
Sometimes, the excitement that adrenaline can offer, beats that of testosterone by an unimaginable margin, giving a man pleasure that remains as a memory - something that the latter can never do. Such is the state of a not-so-frequent flier as he enters the airport after years. All memory of the frustration that had gripped him the previous day numbed, why, gone completely, he walks, proud, drinking in all he can, from the ambience, clad in his best outfit and behaviour, reporting well before the stipulated time.
To truly impress a man, an ambience must have something that he has, if not seen ever, at least not seen in a long time. That way, the airport is slightly disappointing, for people seem - well, not exactly amazed, to say the very least. The ambience is, well, fine, the airline staff make no effort to conceal their disinterestedness, mechanically weighing bags, handing out boarding passes and coolly turning down any request made by passengers. The passenger can't help but feel slightly let down. However, our middle class once in a blue moon traveller's best behaviour doesn't let it show. A couple of unfair entries into check-in queues by a couple of heavily made-up homo sapiens of the feminine gender are barely noticed, and baggage drop is over before he realizes it.
Moving on, security check is an uneventful, followed by the long wait. A peep in the restroom reveals that those in malls are maintained far better.
Entering into the aircraft, a cabin that withstands tremendous pressure - both physically and psychologically, the passenger is greeted with a long-practised smile and a customary greeting - one that veterans choose to ignore while newbies enthusiastically reciprocate, and some soft, dull music that barely anyone notices.
Once settled, the passenger notes that airhostesses (and hosts) display unmistakable signs of disinterestedness - they can't be blamed entirely, there are some passengers who don't realize that air hostesses are merely flight attendants (yeah, they are trained to be salespeople these days). Of course, the passengers aren't the sole culprits - Indigo's female flight attendants wear a badge on their sleeve that says "girl power". It triggered a flashing thought, the first time I saw it, that I chose to ignore. I am still not clear on what the term intends to imply. Objectification of the fairer sex is something that has penetrated every layer of society - why do women agree to even do this? Cheerleaders, lewd dancers, receptionists, and even something supposedly "professional" - flight attendants? Yes, there are male counterparts, but there is a vivid utilization of the fact that they belong to that particular gender. I must say, however, that flight attendants handle it pretty well.
The flight usually starts taxying a good 15 minutes after the announced time of departure, with a rapidly uttered (or prerecorded) announcement, mentioning the flight crew's names and a couple of other information intended to be ignored - and of course, the old, boring safety instructions.
A casual read through the magazine kept on the seat pocket might trap one's ego on a pedestal - a pretty high one - 30,000 feet in fact, with their nicely worded advertisements, claiming ridiculously expensive products to have been priced at reduced rates "for those who soar" - such an advertisement once had me flattered for a while, before I came back to my senses.
A little turbulence or bad weather will bring to the surface the Captain of the plane - a man whose mention had been ignored at the inception of the flight. He assumes ultimate power, deciding when passengers will have a free belly, switching the seat belt sign on and off, deciding on whether beverages should be served on the plane or not, and much more.
Buckling your seat belt on and off based on indications of a seatbelt sign allegedly controlled by the Captain, buying overpriced drinks and snacks out of helplessness, and asking for water just because it's free, sitting in a not-so-pampering-anymore capsule to arrive at your required destination a few hours, or perhaps a day or two in advance, doesn't sound like a very inviting option - well, at least not one to pick very often.
The time and money spent on travel to and from the airport, at the baggage belt and so forth, could be spent enjoying better things - if you've got time.
JMHO
